Hideo Kojima Says He Feared He Would Never Make Games Again After Illness

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Gaming legend Hideo Kojima was so sick in 2020 that he felt he “could never recover” or make games again, he said in an interview with GQ, in which he also discussed her current mental state and more.

“I felt like I might not ever be able to create a game again,” he said of his illness. Being this sick prompted him to consider his life and career.

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Now Playing: Death Stranding 2: On The Beach – “Explore. Connect. Survive.” Gameplay Trailer

“I had all these ideas,” he said. “So I wrote them down and passed them to my PA, as if it were my will. I kind of understood why people commit suicide. It was the end of the world.”

Kojima also developed serious eye pain that prevented him from going outside or watching movies or TV. He opted to have eye surgery, and this ended up damaging the optic muscles that allows a person to focus. “The doctor kept saying that the brain would adjust. I was not convinced,” Kojima said.

Following his illness, Kojima said he now feels “nervous” and “rushed.”

“I still have a lot of things I want to do–that I need to do. I thought I could do anything if I was independent, but the reality is that I can’t,” he said. “I always think of other, more weird stuff to make. But if I do that, and it doesn’t sell, my studio will go bankrupt. I know all the staff. I know the families of the staff. I have this burden on my shoulders.”

Kojima’s next release is Death Stranding 2: On the Beach, which releases this month on PS5. He said in the GQ interview that the game would have launched in 2023 were it not for COVID.

He’s also working on multiple other upcoming games, including OD and Physint, while he’s involved with the A24 Death Stranding movie as well.

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