This story contains spoilers for HBO’s The Last of Us.

Nico Parker cannot bring herself to watch The Last of Us Season 2. Appearing on Late Night with Seth Meyers, Parker, who played Joel’s (Pedro Pascal) daughter Sarah in Season 1, said it’s too “distressing” to watch her on-screen dad get killed.

“I haven’t watched the second season because the idea of seeing him die is so deeply distressing,” Parker said (via EW). That being said, Parker said she’s a “huge fan” of the cast, so she admitted she does want to watch Season 2 at some point. Just not yet. “Pedro dying is just a lot,” she said.

Parker has seen Pascal die on screen before, as she said she watched Gladiator II and witnessed his death in that movie. “I was totally fine,” she said.

Joel is brutally killed with a golf club by Kaitlyn Dever’s Abby in the second episode of Season 2. Just like with The Last of Us: Part II, there was a strong reaction to Joel’s death, and showrunner Craig Mazin saying “everyone lost their sh**” when this happened.

Some of the feedback he heard was, “Why did you kill Pedro Pascal?” Mazin said he wants people to know that he did not kill Pascal. In fact, you can find Pascal in many roles–so many that it’s become something of a meme that Pascal is in everything.

“I keep explaining, ‘We didn’t kill him! He’s a man, he’s alive. He’s fine. And he’s in literally everything else,” Mazin said.

The Last of Us is coming back for a third season, but a premiere date has yet to be announced. A fourth season is expected to follow thereafter to wrap things up.

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